Customer Service stories anyone?

[Mair]

HaHa. Very true. But he was reporting no dial tone. Can't see where that would fit with his neighbor's death.

[madd74]

Maybe due to the fact that his dial tone was "deader than a neighbor"? Thus, if his nabor is alive, then his phone service is alive. I only imagine this true since we have all heard that a line is deader than a doornail, a phrase that is so absolutely retarded that I do not think I have ever laughed at it.

[monkeybone]

Maybe due to the fact that his dial tone was "deader than a neighbor"?

i just woke up the cat laughing at that line.

[Stingray]

Okay, so a new one as of yesterday...
(this is all paraphrased, unless otherwise noted.)

This lady calls about her order saying she needs to "cancel her payments" I'm not exactly sure what she means by that, so I look up her order, and pull up her account and I say "Okay, I see you have 2 payments left to make for your product."
The lady responds with "Yeah, I'm unemployed, I lost my job, and not going to have money for awhile. We're having some major financial issues."
"I see", I respond, still not sure what she wants me to do.
"So, can you cancel the payments?" she asks.
"Excuse me? There are still two payments left on the product.", I respond still not understanding her question.
"I know, but I don't have the money, and I'm going to get overdraft fees if you guys keep trying to take out money. I can't pay you, so I need those payments cancelled."

At this point, my mouth is wide open and I honestly have no idea what to say. "You want us to CANCEL the remaining payments?" I ask incredulously.
"Yes!" she replies with conviction.
I'm like "Ma'am, I understand you are having financial trouble, but I can't just cancel those payments. You have a product that isn't fully paid for, and you are on a payment plan with 2 payments left."
"I never signed anything!" she replies on the defense.
"Ma'am, when you made the original order back in xx/xx, you agreed to buy the product under a 4-payment plan, you have 2 payments left, I am sorry, but I cannot stop those payments." I reply.
"But I CAN'T PAY. I don't have the money! You need to stop charging me!" she states with conviction.
Again, mouth wide open, and I was so apalled, I even actually said "Ma'am how is that fair for you to simply not pay for a product?!"
She replies "Well, I can't pay for it, so I'm going to return it then"
"Sorry, ma'am, there is a 30-day return policy, and we're way past that at this point"

"Oh you guys are just racketeers (I think that's the word she used) aren't ya? Trying to steal from us customers..."
(WE'RE trying to steal from her?! SHE'S the 'thief' who won't pay for her item and just wants us to give her the "unemployment discount"
I'm like "Ma'am, you are choosing to not pay for a product that you owe money, I understand you are having financial troubles, we can move the payments back for you."
"Well, how much can you move them?"
"We can give you an extra two weeks for each month"
"Oh no, I won't have the money then, I'm unemployed!"
"I'm sorry ma'am, you have to finish paying for the product you bought from us...If you can't pay for it, you may need to discuss the issue with your bank or cc company, but we will not be able to cancel the payments"
"Alright! I'm closing the account and sending this back!"
*CLICK*

I still sat there in completel disbelief that she seriously thought we would just drop the payments just because she couldn't afford it. I could think of several analogies of how stupid that logic was - like pumping gas,and then right after your tank's been topped off, going up to the cashier and saying "Sorry, I actually can't pay for this, but is it okay if I drive off for now?" - but I just don't think she would've even realized how ridiculous her proposition was...

[Mair]

Wow! That is totally amazing but this is the mind set SO many people have.

[sewcute]

wow that is a CRAZY story!

[madd74]

So I put the customer on hold, and I called the home phone number. Testing indicated the line was working perfectly fine. This would seem like an easy task. Well, it would except that the callers appear to be getting inversely smart compared to the time of day. She answers, meaning it would appear she has service, so I told her I wanted to go back to the cell phone. She makes some comment about something, and the comment is in relation to her confusion... of life, I could only imagine. I asked her if I was still on hold on the cell phone. She tells me that I am. THEN after a few comments on both sides, preceeds to say, "Oh, you are not the insurance person". Wow, you must be kidding me. Who in the heck do you think originally called you to fix your phone line? Especially when the person introduced the call, "Hello Rebecca? This is Madd over in Qwest repair, I am calling regardless the trouble the wireless rep said you were having."

[monkeybone]

i just love that these people are allowed to drive cars and make babies and vote.

scary !!

[madd74]

So my customer, we will call her Smelizabeth, calls regarding her home based business. Her service is out, and she tells me on the phone that it would appear that her kids will not be able to go out Trick-or-Treat since their alarm does not work. So I guess the moral of the story is:

• everyone who does not have an alarm should not ever leave their house
• Smelizabeth need not have ever reproduced, and her children and reproductive organs NEED removed
• more competition for "I am the center of the universe"
• I am a pig for not having a tech out five minutes ago

"Morons" - House

[cmplxty7]

are you talking about a house alarm? Like the kind that if it goes off it signals the security company and they call you then dispatch police as needed? That is the only connection I can make in my head that would have anything to do with calling the phone company...

Did she actually call you a pig?! Should I go beat her ass?!

[madd74]

Yes I am, and no she did not. She simply attempted a piss poor attempt at a guilt trip for her kids not getting to go knocking on doors because I gave her a commitment of 11-1

[cmplxty7]

I guess I do not see the problem, either - who trick-or-treats between 11-1? NOBODY. She is psycho! And selfish for not taking her kids out for an hour without the house alarm on - ugh.

[Mair]

I guess I do not see the problem, either - who trick-or-treats between 11-1? NOBODY. She is psycho! And selfish for not taking her kids out for an hour without the house alarm on - ugh.

Just to clarify for you (if I may step in) 11-1 means November first. Not between 11 and 1. So her issue, it seems, is that her phone will be out until tomorrow.
My assessment on the situation is that she's a crack whore, so I can see where she would think her house will be rampaged if she leaves for one second without the alarm.

But she apparently has a pride issue if she thinks of herself so great that people are waiting to pounce on her house the moment she leaves.

[cmplxty7]

ooohh - thanks for that clarification - I kind of feel like an ass

I don't know how you guys do it (the call center thing)!

[Mair]

I don't know how we do it either to be honest.

And don't feel like an ass...you gave me quite the laugh.